I'm Never Drinking With You Again
by sleepy-emo
Summary: After a night out drinking with her old school friends Haruhi wakes up in a strange room, not one but two people in bed with her and no idea what happened to her the night before. Not the best time to get alcohol induced amnesia... Inspired by Katy Perry's 'Last Friday Night', written for NaNoWriMo 30/50/15


**I was intending to upload this about four days ago but I'm a bit crap really and let a few things get on top of me at once. This story is a bit crackish...ok a lot crackish. I came up with the idea after a night of heavy drinking myself and woke up to Ouran playing on loop on my laptop. Inspired by 'Last Friday Night' by Katy Perry and written for my NaNoWriMo challenge, hope you enjoy :D**

Oh god, I thought as I reached my hand up to rub my eyes, what on earth was I drinking last night. My mouth felt like it was filled with cotton, my head was pounding, when I pulled my hand away there were black smudges on it from the make-up I hadn't taken off before I went to sleep and I had the sinking suspicion that if I moved that would be a really bad idea. I rubbed my eyes again deciding not to care about the make-up; I honestly don't remember a thing from last night and considering that I was drinking with Tamaki and the others this was probably a really bad time to suffer from alcohol induced amnesia.

It had all started as a simple get together between old school friends, we were all back in town for our third Ouran Academy reunion as graduates and we, as an old Host Club, had met up the night before for a drink. The evening had mostly consisted of a few quiet drinks and reminiscing, that is until Hikaru and Kaoru decided to bring out a bottle of Absinthe they had 'acquired' (you know it's going to end badly when those two start talking covertly like that) in Amsterdam. That coupled with Tamaki wanting to try out a drinking game he had played while on a studying holiday in England led to what I assume could have been an incredibly bad night (or an incredibly good night depending on how you looked at it), shame I had no idea what the hell actually happened.

I opened my eyes, hoping to see the enlarged photograph of when we were all in high school together that I stuck on the ceiling to tell me that I somehow managed to drag my drunk self back home but to my horror it wasn't there. The ceiling that I was staring up at wasn't my own; it was white, pristine and with a crystal chandelier hanging from the centre of the room. This was not good! Oh why had I let myself be dragged into that stupid drinking game – I'm supposed to be the sensible one! I'm supposed to be the one that calms down Tamaki when he goes off on one of his insane tangents and tells him not to do something but apparently I completely let my entire rationality go out of the window last night.

I lifted my hand to run it through my hair, trying to make myself feel less sick. As my fringe brushed in front of my face I caught the very strong stench of whisky and gin. My stomach quivered slightly, the smell making me feel nauseous. Seriously what had I been drinking last night? I don't even like whisky, or gin. Urgh I smelt like a mini bar in some cheap motel, this was just getting better and better!

Slowly, very slowly as I felt like I was going to throw up if I moved too quickly, I sat up in the huge bed that I had ended up in. Before looking around anywhere I looked down and to my horror I found that I was completely naked and covered in a thin layer of glitter (I had no idea where it came from and I didn't want to know) as, because I had sat up without bringing the duvet with me, my chest was completely exposed to anyone who might walk into the room. Immediately I flopped back down and pulled the duvet up around myself so that it was covering me, not before I noticed the substantially size bruise (at least I really freaking hoped it was a bruise) near the top of my left breast but the fast motion made my head spin and I groaned again as my stomach lurched unpleasantly.

Once it had calmed down I slowly sat up again, taking the duvet with me so that my breasts weren't out for all the world to see. I looked around; I didn't recognise the room that I was in meaning that it could be anywhere (which would have led to unpleasant questions with even worse answers) but judging by the fact that I was friends with people like Kyoya Otori and Tamaki Suoh there was a high likelihood that I was at one of their houses, them having taken me home after I passed out.

I heard a soft male groan and felt something move from the space beside me and I practically jumped out of my skin, the blood in my veins turning to ice. I was a strange bed, in a strange room, completely naked with someone else in bed with me. I heard another man's groan, this one a little higher pitched than the first, and felt a person shift on my other side. My eyes widened and I felt the bottom drop out of my stomach as I realised that I was in bed with not one but two strangers!

I had to get out of here and I had to do it without waking them up but there was no way I could do that without waking at least one of them. I heard a soft moan from one of the boys who I had ended up in bed with and felt an arm snake around my waist. I practically jumped out of my skin, my entire body turning rigid, as the arm tightened and I felt a warm body pressing against my back.

"Morning Haruhi." the boy behind me purred into my ear. That same ice like dread continued to fill me, how did he know my name? How did he know my name and I had no idea what his was? Hang on, I suddenly thought, rationality kicking back in, why did he sound so much like…

"Hikaru?" I asked, my voice coming out as a croak from the alcohol I drank.

"Hey," he replied, still purring into my ear, and I could feel his lips stretching into a smirk against my neck before his tongue slipped out to lick the shell of my ear. I felt a shiver run throughout my entire body, my mind immediately going to the worst possible place (I was naked in bed with Hikaru and, presumably, Kaoru of course that's where my mind was going to go first!) "how're you feeling?"

"Decidedly freaked out." I murmured. I turned to look at him and saw that he was naked too (well he was shirtless at the least, I didn't know if he was actually naked or not and a part of me didn't want to). "What happened last night?"

"You forgot?" he asked a look of mock hurt gracing his face before a cat like grin spread across his lips. "Naughty Haruhi, that deserves a punishment."

"W…wait!" I cried trying to jump backwards as he took hold of my chin and leaned in close to my face. That achieved nothing aside from waking Kaoru as a squeak sounded from beside me and before I knew what was happening I then felt another warm body pressed against me.

"Well that's one way to wake me up in the morning." he chuckled. "Although the way you decided to keep me up last night was much more enjoyable." I could tell by the feel of his skin against mine that he was also naked or at the very least shirtless. Oh god why did they have to be shirtless?

"Kaoru," Hikaru said still purring in a way that sent shivers down my spine. "Haruhi here doesn't remember anything about last night." I heard Kaoru gasp exaggeratedly before chuckling.

"So she doesn't remember our wild, passionate ménage á trois?" he asked, his tone of mock hurt mimicking Hikaru's.

"Our what?" I shrieked the desire to jump out of bed and run away so strong the only thing stopping me was the fact that I was very, very naked. Oh god, oh god, oh god! Did I really have a threesome with the Hitachiin twins last night?

"I guess we'll have to be a bit more memorable next time." Hikaru grinned.

"Next time?" I shrieked again although they didn't seem to be paying any attention to me.

"I blame the fact that we ended up at the Boss's," Kaoru stated shrugging. "clearly we're not at the top of our game knowing he's in the next room." Oh god! We ended up at Tamaki's! I sincerely hope this isn't his room, this is going to be awkward enough without him going off on one when he finds out I slept with the twins in his house, in his room, in his bed!

"Hey he had his chance to join in," Hikaru stated. "he said he would rather have Haruhi all to himself."

"He what?" I asked suddenly very confused, well more so than I already was (I mean when you wake up in bed with two of your closest friends and don't actually remember having sex with either of them how are not going to be confused?) It was only then that both Hikaru and Kaoru seemed to remember that I was there.

"Tamaki said that if he was going to spend the night with you he wanted it to be just you and him," Hikaru smirked deviously. "but you'd already made it clear that you wanted us two to join the show as well."

"I what?" I asked. Oh god! I am never drinking Absinthe again! I said I wanted to go to bed with Hikaru and Kaoru and Tamaki as well. Who out of the Host Club didn't I proposition last night? Please tell me I didn't ask Honey for sex, if I did that would just be the icing on this horrendous cake of embarrassment. The rest of them I could just about live with but…oh god! I groaned and placed my face in my hands. "How did this even happen?" I moaned. Through a tiny gap in my fingers I saw Hikaru smirk at Kaoru.

"Well do you want to hear the entire story?" Hikaru asked.

"Oh god, do I?" I mumbled into my hands.

"I believe it started when Tamaki suggested that game of 'Ring of Fire: Truth or Dare'." Kaoru stated.

"How on earth did Tamaki convince Kyoya to play a game like that?" I asked, talking more to myself than to either of the twins, knowing that Kyoya would never agree to play a game like that unless Tamaki put on the puppy dog eyes, which was highly plausible (because let's face it, it's Tamaki) or there was something in it for him. Footage of me making a complete idiot out of myself apparently.

"Then," Kaoru continued either not hearing me or choosing to ignore me. "Hikaru dared Tamaki to kiss you."

"He protested the idea of course," Hikaru shrugged. "he did his usual speech of how fathers and daughters shouldn't be kissing."

"Because even after all these years he still keeps insisting that he doesn't want you." Kaoru grinned. What? Tamaki wants me? This was news to me! I know he always had this weird and quirky idea of a father/daughter relationship between us but I thought that was just him being his strange and eccentric self. I didn't realise that there was anything else behind what he said.

"Eventually Kyoya got sick of his yammering and pushed the two of you together." Hikaru finished. I blanched, had that really been my first kiss with Tamaki? A drunken fumble that I didn't even remember and was actually initiated by Kyoya? Great, that's just great! Not that I wanted it to be special or anything or even wanted it to happen at all. Why am I lying to my subconscious? Of course I wanted it to happen, I've fancied Tamaki ever since the Ouran Fair in my first year of High School I just never thought that he would in any way reciprocate my feelings.

"Then," Kaoru continued when I didn't say anything. "in retaliation Tamaki dared Hikaru and I to kiss, which we did and it had you more than a little flustered." he added whispering the last part huskily in my ear. A slight shiver ran down my spine as his hot breath tickled my ear and I could feel my heart rate speeding up.

"And you looked so cute sitting there blushing in between us so we invited you to join us." Hikaru grinned devilishly. "An offer which you accepted readily." Did I? There was no way that I would have done that, no matter how much I had been drinking. I had always thought that their 'brotherly love' routine was a little too over the top to have any effect on me whatsoever despite the fact that other girls lapped it up.

"Hang on!" I cried. A sudden thought occurred to me; this was the Hitachiin twins I was talking to: there was every chance that they were just saying all this to screw with me. That was it – it had to be! "Pictures or it didn't happen!" The twins looked at each other before identical devious smirks spread across their faces.

"Well…" Hikaru said turning to me.

"If you insist…" Kaoru added.

"Check the computer." they both finished in unison. The looks plastered on their faces made my blood run cold. What had I done and what had they put up on the internet?

"Can one of you please pass me my clothes?" I asked, not wanting to get out of bed in front of them both in my current state. Faster than I expected them to Hikaru passed me a shirt and Kaoru passed me my underwear.

Wiggling under the duvet I managed to get myself dressed without them seeing me naked (although judging by the sound of it they had already seen me naked, very naked). I hopped out of bed and made my way over to the computer on the desk by the window, my Facebook page was already open and there were a number of notifications for me to see. I clicked on the first; it was a like on a photo I had apparently posted but I had a sneaking suspicion that the twins had posted it under my name.

My eyes widened as the photo loaded on the screen. I was standing on top of a table, my back pressed right up against Kyoya's chest with my arm around his neck grinding against him. Horrified at my own actions I quickly clicked onto the next photo, which was a picture of myself and Honey at the bar. I was taking a shot and Hunni appeared to be placing the barman in some kind of sleeper hold (evidently he had been asked to provide ID an gotten pissed off). That wasn't too bad so I continued to click through the photos. Not all of them were that innocent. Oh god, I'm so screwed!

The photos of the blacked out blur that was last night showed me doing numerous embarrassing things; having an argument with the barman over what I understood from the comments to be a declined credit card (fantastic there goes all my wages), me getting us all kicked out of the bar, me and the twins getting ready to streak in some kind of park, and then the three of us, Mori and Honey skinny dipping in the dark and a number of pictures leading up to the apparent threesome with the twins although thankfully it didn't get passed us falling onto the bed together semi-clothed.

As I sat there trying to connect the dots between the photos (the comments were a real eye opener for me that was for sure) I realised that we must have broken about five or six different laws and I wouldn't be surprised if there was a warrant out for my arrest by now. I sighed and sank back into the chair; I think I need something to drink. Not something alcoholic, no way in hell – I'm never EVER drinking again. I need something to cure this monster of a hangover while I revelled in massive epic fail that was my drunken antics. What the hell am I going to tell my boss when these start to circulate the office and get back to him?

"I believe your car was also towed." Hikaru said appearing at my side, leaning over me. "You'll have to ring the city to get it released."

"Great." I muttered as Kaoru appeared at my other side and dropped a heap of material into my lap.

"You also ripped your dress." he stated. I picked up the remnants of my torn dress, looking at it forlornly.

"I liked that dress." I moaned softly. Well that was a waste of two hundred thousand yen…

"So have you seen all the photos?" Hikaru asked.

"God I hope so." I replied shaking my head.

"Oh no wait," Kaoru said suddenly pointing at the screen. "there's one more." I clicked over to the next photo and my eyes widened. It was a photo of Tamaki and I locked in a passionate kiss. One of his arms was around my waist while the other was in my hair and both of mine were around his neck. Unlike all the other pictures, which looked so out of place for me, this one looked so genuine. The passion between Tamaki and I made my heart skip slightly and ache at the same time as I really don't remember that happening.

"We caught you kissing under a street lamp just outside the bar." Kaoru told me. I turned, mouth open, to ask him what we did on being discovered when I heard the door open and a very disgruntled shout from the doorway.

"Hey, what are you two shady twins doing to my Haruhi?" Tamaki shouted. I turned to see Tamaki standing in the door, holding a tray with what looked like breakfast in bed on it. I looked up at the twins; both of them were smirking deviously in Tamaki's direction.

"We were just having a little fun." Kaoru said.

"Just teasing her a little bit." Hikaru grinned. "How else are we supposed to have fun when you got all the action last night?"

"That doesn't explain why you're both in your boxers!" Tamaki yelled putting the tray down and advancing on the twins.

"Oh relax," Hikaru waved him off and pulling his shirt back on. "we just wanted to give Haruhi a bit of a shock with Photoshop before she got a huge one when she realised she actually came home with you last night."

"Hang on?" I cried suddenly reminding them all that I was still there. "Are you saying that none of those pictures are real?" I knew it! I knew they had been messing with me, I can't believe I let them fool me into doubting myself.

"Course they're not real." Hikaru laughed. "Do you honestly think you would have done any of those things? Even when you're blind drunk you're the most sensible person in the world."

"Yeah we just thought it would be fun to freak you out." Kaoru added.

"So how the hell did you get all those pictures?" I yelled gesturing to the computer screen.

"We got one of our maids who had a similar body type to you to pose then we Photoshopped your face onto the images." Kaoru explained. "We've been planning this for ages, we just had to wait for the right moment to get you drunk enough so you wouldn't remember not doing any of that."

"And the rest of them were in on this?" I asked feeling a slight pang in my chest as I thought of the last photo of Tamaki and I. Had that all been staged as well?

"Well, all of them except him." Hikaru stated gesturing to Tamaki. I turned to stare first at Tamaki who was still glaring at the twins then back to Hikaru. "Did you not notice that he wasn't in any of the pictures."

"Yeah he was," I countered. "he was in the last one."

"We had nothing to do with that one." Hikaur replied.

"Yeah we just took the picture." Kaoru added. "We didn't do anything to it." I turned to Tamaki a little wide eyed and more than a little confused; he was now rubbing the back of his head nervously. So I actually had kissed Tamaki last night, that was the only thing the twins had told me that was true.

"Well I guess we should leave them to it," Hikaru stated after a pause. "they probably have a lot to talk about."

"We'll see you two love birds later." Kaoru grinned as the two of them grabbed the rest of their clothes and sauntered out of the room. I can't believe they did all that for a joke because I got drunk off my face and they knew I wouldn't remember it, those bastards! Actually I don't know why I was all that surprised – this was Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin after all, screwing around with people was what they did for fun.

"So…" I began awkwardly, not really sure what to say. "last night…did I? Did we?" I was hedging the question as I really didn't want to have to ask that – it was so embarrassing. I mean it was bad enough that I had gotten so drunk the twins had managed to fool me into thinking I slept with both of them but I had been fantasising about being with Tamaki since I was fifteen.

"No we didn't." he told me. "You were practically unconscious and it's not very gentlemanly to make love to a lady unless she's a willing participant as well."

"Ok," I said quietly. "that's good."

"Also I always pictured my first time with you to be special." he continued as if I hadn't spoken. "But I did finally get to kiss you; that was something at least."

"I don't understand." I said trying to make my hung-over brain focus and process what he was saying. "So why was I naked when I woke up?"

"When I got you back here I gave you some pyjamas and I put you to bed but you must have gotten too hot and taken them off in your sleep." he replied.

"And the glitter?" I asked holding out my arm for him to see the tiny refractions of light shooting off it.

"Honey broke a glitter filled mirror ball because it looked like a piñata and most of it landed on you." he explained.

"And the…" I began before dropping the volume of my voice considerably. "What about the hickey on my breast."

"That's actually a bruise." he stated. "You were on the floor, pulled yourself up on a table and the corner of the table hit you just on your left um…" he tailed off flushing burgundy in true Tamaki fashion.

"But we did kiss?" I asked a little stupidly.

"We did." he nodded.

"And you didn't try to stop me from kissing you?"

"I hope you can forgive me." he sighed sadly. "I know it wasn't very gentlemanly to kiss you in your level of intoxication but I have wanted to kiss you for so long so I decided to be a little selfish for a change."

"What are you saying?" I asked quietly, incredibly confused and feeling as if I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. I hoped he couldn't hear it; he'd know how nervous I was if he did.

"Well I suppose I'm saying that I like you," he stated. "a lot, in fact, and I may as well tell you now since you saw the picture of me kissing you."

"So you like me more than just a friend?" I asked trying to get my head around it. It just seemed such a ridiculous concept to me that the rich and gorgeous Tamaki Suoh, who could have any woman he wanted, would in any way be interested in me. He nodded, giving me a shy smiled that made my heart jump. Well, I thought, I may as well make a confession of my own since he has. "Well I feel the same way about you." My voice was quiet as I spoke and I was surprised he even heard me but he did and his eyes lit up, a beaming smile stretching across his lips.

He didn't say anything he just took a step towards me, leaned over me, cupping my face and passionately kissed my lips. As we kissed I reached up and tangled my fingers in his soft blond hair pulling him closer to my lips. After what seemed like a lifetime on one hand and was over way too quickly on the other, he pulled away from me, his violet eyes boring into mine.

"You're so beautiful." he whispered, staring at me in awe. I'm sure I looked anything but at this point, hair dishevelled, last night's make up still on and now smeared across my face.

"You're just saying that." I mumbled, looking away.

"Would I ever?" he asked giving me that genuine Tamaki smile that everyone (including me) loved so much. "Now, would my princess like some breakfast?" he asked gesturing to the forgotten tray.

"Oh god yes!" I replied. "I need to get rid of this hangover."

"Then, once you've recovered I'd very much like to take you out on a date and spoil you properly." he stated. I felt a smile of my own stretch across my face.

"That would be amazing." I replied. "But nothing too extravagant." I added.

"Would I ever?" he smiled again before he pressed a soft kiss to my forehead before taking my hand and pulling me to my feet.

"Now you eat something while I fix the damage those shady twins did to your reputation." He sat down in front of the computer and began routing through my Facebook page, removing photos and statuses the twins had been posting as me.

"Thanks," I gave him an appreciative smile. "I wouldn't be surprised if I got a call from my boss later asking what the hell I was playing at."

"Well if you do just point him in my direction and I'll set him straight." Tamaki said taking my hand and kissing it softly.

"Thank you." I smiled at him.

"Anything for the best thing to come out of last night." he stated and I smiled.

"Well one thing's for certain at the very least," I said as I got back into bed and he turned back to the computer. "I'm never drinking with the Host Club ever again."

**7 down, 8 to go**


End file.
